I was nervous to go to Calcutta. I didn’t know what to expect of the city, of the country or of the people we would be serving. On our first day of serving we encountered many people, in many different conditions. I was a bit nervous to go up to the women we were serving and talk to them, I didn’t know their language or what they were used to. To be honest I felt quite awkward. Then, I just went for it and began trying to communicate with the women. I was struck by their smiles and immediately put at ease. Two ladies and particular would laugh with me when they would say something to me and I would gesture that I couldn’t understand. They would try to speak to me again and we would laugh again. On that day I realized that despite language barriers and different cultural norms, a smile is universal.
I expected poverty. In fact, I had heard all about it. What I did not expect was the rich and lively spirits of those I encountered. Throughout the first day or so working there, I sometimes felt lost, as if I did not really have much help to offer. I asked God to use me as His instrument and for the ability to see Him in each I came into contact with. On my second day working in Shanti Daan I wandered into the physical therapy room for young girls with severe physical disabilities. I already began to feel productive by helping the girls walk around and stretch in different ways in the bright atmosphere. Within the last five minutes of being there one of the residents wandered into the room and was chatting, as much as she could, with the other girls there. She climbed up on one of the blocks sitting on the ground and started calling out “Auntie! Auntie!”, which is what the residents call those helping. With her arms outstretched she jumped into my arms, kissed me on the cheek, and she gave me the most authentic smile I have received. I did not realize until later, but this was God showing that this trip was not solely about me helping other people and bringing His light to them. Rather, the girl I should have been serving was purely a vessel of God’s love to me.
Serving the poorest of the poor in Calcutta allowed me to experience God’s personal love for me in a profound way. It’s easy for us to define and seek to prove ourselves by all of our achievements, relationships, and good deeds. In the heat and humidity of Calcutta, serving the residents of Kalighat, the house for the dying and the destitute, and Shanti Dan, the house for mentally and physically disabled women, God broke down the illusion that I must prove myself to him. Most of the residents we served in Calcutta were in a position of total humility and surrender. Almost all of them needed aid from the sisters or other volunteers to do basic activities like walking, dressing themselves, feeding themselves, etc. Some residents that we encountered were not cognitively aware at all. Yet, as I was holding the hand of a resident who was in a wheelchair and not cognitively aware, it struck me: God loves her just as much as he loves Mother Teresa. For Him, there are no actions we can do to earn His love, faithfulness, and tenderness. His love is a free and tender gift that has no limits and asks for nothing in return. I realized at that moment that I do not need to earn God’s love, but rather to rest in it, delight in it, and let it be the life source from which all of my thoughts, words, and actions flow.
One afternoon of service, after finishing our typical responsibilities, I encountered one woman sitting on her bed looking out at the room. I went up to her and held her hand. I began to speak to her in English and she understood. I pointed out her delicately painted fingernails. With a big smile and nod said, “It looks so pretty!” She smiled and replied in Bengali. I retained my smile, however I had no idea what she said. I didn’t know how to respond, the language barrier was nearly impossible to ignore. I tried once more to preserve our “conversation” by pointing out the bangles on her wrist. I asked her how to say jewelry and she taught me. I was glad that our conversation was pushing forward, until she began to speak to me again and this time I just smiled and laughed while saying “I’m sorry, I don’t know.” She began to laugh as well. So there we were, both sharing a laugh about how we couldn’t communicate with our words. After our laughter died down, I remained looking into her eyes and rubbing her hand with a smile. She didn’t look away, I soon sensed a startling feeling of the discomfort of silence. I felt vulnerable, as if she could see into my heart. There is a deep vulnerability in a genuine smile. One of the most simple yet fundamental ways of sharing ourselves with others is through a smile.
While passing someone on the street it’s not uncommon to make eye contact and smile, but people often look away quickly. There is a certain feeling of discomfort as if you are sharing too much with this stranger.
I began to feel this discomfort, but did not look away. I realized that this is what it often means to love another person. Sharing yourself with someone without words. To allow someone to see the genuine joy you have as you look at them and try to see them as Christ does. To see the beauty of the other’s heart and simply be with them. I had nothing to gain from her, no interesting life story or words of wisdom, no funny jokes to exchange. In our inability to have a “real conversation” I was able to learn more about authentic love than any amount of words or ideas could teach me. Any sense of utility goes away when you don’t speak the same language. She then leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek in overwhelming gratitude. Although she did not say the words, “thank you” I know in that small moment she could feel that I loved her. It was an opportunity that I will never forget, to even in a simple act of love, to radiate the love of Christ that she is worth being seen and received with joy. I will never again underestimate the power of a genuine smile and a shared gaze.
The people we were serving had lived the most miserable lives you could imagine, throughout which they had been abandoned, neglected, and mistreated. They had every right to be hardened by resent, unforgiving, and hostile towards others. Yet, everyone (at least insofar as they could express it) seemed happy and grateful. Those who could help out with the various chores did help, nearly everyone responded to our care with docility and humility, and so many wanted merely to kiss our hands, look into our eyes, and smile at us with love and gratitude. It took me a while to figure out how this could be, how these women could be so happy. Then it occurred to me: they are currently receiving the most love and care that perhaps they have ever known. All we were to them were complete strangers, and all we were doing was giving them a bowl of food, or a cup of water, holding their hands and speaking to them in a language they couldn’t understand. Yet, even in these simple actions we were able to love and care for them in a way that they hadn’t been loved or cared for perhaps ever in their life. I’ve been able to love and care for people before, but I don’t think that I’ve ever held in my hands the ability to give people what may very well be more love than they’ve ever received. That’s why they were so happy and grateful. After all, all they really needed, but what they had been deprived of for so long, was love. By loving them, I knew I was loving Christ through them, and my only hope is that they were able to experience the love of Christ through me.
Your life might not be going according to plan, but that might be a good thing!
I have always had a job since graduating college 20 years ago. However, that changed when I took an opportunity in a different industry and was laid off a year later despite working as hard as ever and putting in long work hours.
I applied to many positions right after losing my job, landed interviews, and even made it to the final round multiple times. I thought this was going to last, at most, a couple of months. However, I did not get the job as quickly as expected. There are times when I am down, especially after not getting an offer following multiple interviews. As a man, I grew up learning the importance of hard work, of being my family’s provider, and of offering my work to God. I want to provide my family with a comfortable life. It pains me not to be able to do that.
However, most of the time I see blessings I would not have had if my path had continued the way I wanted. For example, I am attending mass at least once during the week, visiting the Most Blessed Sacrament, and going to confession more often. I cannot use the old “I don’t have time” excuse anymore. My final goal is getting to heaven, and I am confident I have a better chance of achieving it through this experience. I plan to continue these habits after getting a new job as best as I can.
I learned not to take anything for granted and to adjust. I am aware many are undergoing more complicated situations. I am grateful to have my house, car, and food. I have the support and understanding of my family. However, being out of work required me to change my perspective. When I do the groceries I now price check and think about my purchases. In the past, I only did that for big-ticket items. I had to cancel a furniture delivery we had expected for months and were due a couple of weeks following the layoff. I wanted to go travel with my family, which we had to postpone. This humbling experience reminds me that Jesus was not wealthy in the worldly sense of the word. Wealth can be good, but it won’t help me get to Heaven unless I am generous and know it is not the ultimate goal.
Although sometimes I don’t see it or dismiss it, I know deep down that God is helping my family go through this. I am learning the meaning of trust and faith, opening my eyes to how God has helped us in many ways.
My wife was able to find a job quickly after many years out of the workforce
We unexpectedly received a check from a hospital that had miscalculated the insurance 8 years ago
I experienced and felt the warmth of my friends and family’s kindness and generosity; they have spent time looking for opportunities and contacts at their places of work or have even offered financial help.
I now see an opportunity to start my own business; a family member offered me to partner with him. I always wanted independence, but I never had the courage to leave the stability of my corporate paycheck. Now I don’t have to overcome that step.
How God is providing for me through others and in different ways reminds me of Matthew 6:26-34: “Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin. But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them. If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith? So do not worry and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or ‘What are we to drink?’ or ‘What are we to wear?’ All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom [of God] and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.”
God does not give us challenges we cannot overcome. I am weak and can see Him carrying me. I encourage looking at your life’s trajectory from a supernatural point of view, making the decision to trust God and to stay positive. It might not be the path we originally planned, but have faith that it is ultimately better.
