Tragedy to Hope
The one “priceless” possession that anyone has (whether knowing or unknowing) is their time, and with that said, I want to thank you AND your beautiful family for giving me a significant portion of your time yesterday. My personal story is anything but “boring” with the amount of “amazing” grace and mercy that I’d been extended over the course of my life…but still…your family was very patient to allow me such time with you, as they did!
Like yourself in giving/devoting your life to this ministry, I, myself, was simply “answering” God’s invitation to be there yesterday. In fact, what I didn’t tell you was that right up to the last minute before the time to leave here, I was heavily tempted to NOT make the trip down there. Interesting? While Satan can never know our thoughts, surely he can well perceive “potential” in our actions, and I’m thinking that the future possibilities that were discussed yesterday is why I was severely tempted to be a “no show!”
I am sharing that with you for a reason. I can well imagine that other volunteers must struggle with similar temptations and/or distractions from following through in accomplishing God’s work! The more severe that the temptation is, the greater potential that lies ahead!
I “began” my sharing with you yesterday by daring to tell you about the sudden passing of my grandson (by suicide) – that happened not even two months ago. While it is true that I am still “reeling” from the freshness of this horrific tragedy, I felt it was important that you and perhaps others know the “usefulness” of our pain and suffering – when we “allow” God to use it. I did not think that you would be able to grasp the depth of my experience, in as much as the vast majority of people (including myself) struggle to even talk about it – and yet you not only grasped the depth of it, you immediately recognized “why” God had sent me.
Oftentimes, the “poorest of the poor” are the volunteers themselves, you said to me. That made perfect sense to me, as one who has been desperate to have some sort of “purpose” to my life. There was a wonderful line in the recent movie “Cabrini” when one of the sisters asked Mother Cabrini (who was very sickly) whether she was afraid of death. She replied “yes, at times…which is when I get back to work immediately…because there isn’t any time to waste!”
What better way to actively “grieve” the loss of my grandson (or any loss for that matter) than to serve God in the poor? It was no accident that I came across the DVD (documentary) of Mother Theresa’s life just a few weeks after burying my grandson – and in the throws of tremendous sorrow. Watching that movie motivated me to search the internet for a local Missionaries of Charity because I wanted to “get busy” doing her kind of work. I needed something to help me get through the greatest struggle that I’d ever known. Living “alone” as I do was certainly making matters worse for me!
In my internet search, I came across “Project Finding Calcutta” which described itself as a lay ministry serving the poor. I immediately signed up for the next Saturday available, which took place from the Mater Dei Catholic Parish, in Irving…
While I felt a bit lost at first arrival that day, I eventually found my way to the back parking lot where it appeared that people were assembling. After standing there for a few minutes, a young man came over and greeted me, asking if I’d checked in yet, which made me feel welcomed. I must have had that “new person” look as a young lady named Dorothy came along and asked me if it was my first time. When I said yes, she replied that it was hers too. With that intro, I began to feel less strange. At least there was one other person who was completely new at this!
At that point, we decided to join the same group together. It was the group that would go visit a nursing home.
After a WONDERFUL prayer together, we all dispersed to our assigned addresses. The prayer was “significant” for me because I have not been able to pray much at all these past weeks. In fact, I’d been asking for “intercessory” prayer and a number of friends have been doing that for me. I’d been told that my inability to pray is not unusual at all. I’d been trying to be “patient” with it!
Dorothy and I rode together to the nursing home, which gave me a chance to recognize her “gifts” so to speak. One of my gifts is the gift of discernment. This gift allows me to recognize such things…I think. Anyway, Dorothy had brought with her some (blessed) Miraculous Medals to give out if that were allowed. I wasn’t sure if it was or not but I assured her that we would soon find out…
Just before we went into the nursing home, a young girl (I think her name was Lilly) assigned groups within our group and gave each of us a specific hallway to focus on. Then, before we were dispersed, she led us in a WONDERFUL prayer once again. That prayer was essential, especially for me, who’d been struggling to pray as I shared above…
As we entered the nursing home, we were invited to take a pic of the floor format and on it was a list of specific names that we were to visit. It apparently had been prearranged. That was great because it took the guess work out completely. We knew exactly where to go and we also knew the the names of the patients as well…
For the sake of privacy, I will not mention any names, nor what hallway we were assigned, in so far as our specific visits with patients…
The first woman was a little apprehensive but nevertheless welcomed us, but then she got a phone call from her son and asked that she be able to take her call. We moved on to the next patient…
The next patient seemed a bit “startled” by our entry at first. She pulled the sheet over her head. She seemed frustrated and afraid. She tried to communicate to us in nonverbal ways but was unable to express herself in words. One of our “trio” (Jamie) went right over to her and sat down on her bed right next to her. She hugged her and held her as best she could, even though the patient was very antsy. Her hair was pretty messy and over her eyes. Even though she could not talk, Jamie talked to her about the program on her TV, and then shared a personal story that the patient seemed to like. The only way she could communicate was either with grunts and other sounds or by extending her closed hands. I noticed a hairbrush on her burrow along with a scrunchie and called attention to one of the other team members who asked the patient if she wanted her hair combed. She seemed eager to have that done and so her hair combed and out of her face.
Dorothy, whose main gift is spontaneous prayer, then knelt and led us all in prayer. We sang the song that suggested and this patient was becoming more and more peaceful. Dorothy took one of her Miraculous Medals out and asked if she would like one. There was not much of a response. At that moment, I gazed around the room and noticed a crucifix on her wall. Not a cross, but a crucifix! It was then decided that we would hang the Miraculous Medal on her wall near her crucifix. We had spent a great deal of time with this one patient, but when we finally took our leave, she seemed a lot more serene than when we arrived!
The next patient seemed a bit comatose, at least to me. The three of us greeted her in varied ways but initially there was no response. We were not sure if we had the right patient. Then she finally confirmed her name to us. The first thing she said was that her stomach hurt. I asked her if I could pray over her stomach and she quickly agreed. I placed my hands on her abdomen area and began to beseech the name of Jesus for healing. I felt a significant “pull” within that area almost immediately. It seemed (to me) that she then became much more talkative. She began to share with us about her distress with the dialysis treatments. She shared about her loneliness and wanting to be closer to her family. She seemed to shed some tears in sharing her pain with us. While Jamie was holding her hand the whole time, I was holding her other hand. Dorothy pulled out a Miraculous Medal ad began to ask if she would want one. She seemed confused. I then asked if she knew “Mary”…at which point her face lit up. I asked if she would like a medal of Mary on her neck and she said yes. As soon as I placed it on her neck, she made the sign of the cross! We had no idea that she was Catholic!
The next patient was coughing a great deal when we arrived. He apologized for coughing. We assured him that it was not a problem. At first he was not very animated but as we visited and talked with him for a while, he seemed to become more and more present. I asked him if we could pray over him for his cough and he quickly agreed. Dorothy then led a wonderful spontaneous prayer while Jamie and I extended out hands over him. Dorothy pulled out a Miraculous Medal and then I asked him if he knew Mary. He said you mean the mother of Jesus? – to which we said yes. He said that he knew about her. I then asked if he would like us to place a medal on his neck and with no hesitation he said yes. We are not sure what religious persuasion this man might have had but he was amazingly open to the love, prayers, AND the Miraculous Medal! At that point, he noticed my haircut (flattop) and liked it. I sensed that he might be a veteran, as it is typical for veterans to notice the flattop. Then he SAW my beard and said that he really liked my beard. He had a beard too…and it seemed to be a source of bonding for us! We left this man a “different” person than we had found him. God did something significant in this visit too!
The last patient that we met was deeply asleep, and on a ventilator. Dorothy noticed there were balloons, cards, and pics from what appeared to be a recent birthday. Although he was asleep, we talked to him for a bit, and prayed over him. He may or may not have heard anything that was said but that’s OK…God did!
So that is the summary of our visit to the nursing home, as I remember it. It has been said that God’s generosity cannot be outdone. His rewards are many times the amount of what we give. That is what this Saturday felt like to me. My “reward” was NOT spending another Saturday alone, with only my thoughts. My reward was that the pain and suffering of my recent loss was turned into “relief” NOT just for me but for a number of people, including those that were members of my team…
I did not do this for what I could get out of it…and yet…I feel like the winner. That is how God is. In “answering” the call to make that internet search, finding this ministry, and “blindly” driving over an hour each way not knowing what I was doing…God ministered to a kind of pain and suffering that I thought was “impossible” to deal with. Again…that is how God IS!!!
John
PFC Volunteer
2024 DFW